This is not going on my personal blog because I know ten thousand kids from my school will read it and piss themselves with assumptions about my life. 

Anyway.

There are two guys. Guy #1 was my best friend, and then we fucked it up. We were together over the summer.. but after a while I realized that he’s actually a massive douchebag. I love the kid, but it’s that kind of thing you laugh about when you’re friends but when you’re more than that it makes you question everything you’re doing.

So that relationship deteriorates.. I’m irritated, I’m short, but he’s an jackass. But he means too much to me to cut him out of my life, and I’m afraid that if I completely stop our relationship (the more than friends one) I could risk losing him.. so we’re kind of on this weird middle ground.

Enter guy #2. He was the one that got away. We are unbelievably similar, he makes me laugh, I love being with him. But something got weird, and then he started dating someone else. He graduated, and I was with guy #1 all summer. But he’s home for spring break now (single) and I saw him last week at the gym and we’ve been talking non-stop. Meanwhile my relationship with guy #1 is moving significantly more towards friends.. less flirting, less texting, no more goodnights or smiley faces. So I’m like, alright, good.. and make out with guy #2. Bad, I know.. but I wanttt himmmm, ahh. And he’s going back to college in a few days, so it’s not like it matters anyway. And the night this happens, guy #1 conveniently decides to start goodnight texting me for the first time in two weeks. I feel guilty.. I’m not committed to guy #1, but I’m sure he wouldn’t be to happy if he knew. Ahh. What do I do?